Front Porch Step | If I Tremble.
|—||Unknown (via dontyouchange)|
Today is just getting harder and harder with each passing minuet. I hurt so badly physically and emotionally. I want nothing more than to text you saying I need you so badly right now. But i’m not going to. The next time I talk to you will be Wednesday when I have to drop some stuff off to you. I had so much planned for us in the next few months and now I have to do a few by myself. I care to much it’s one of my biggest flaws. I give my all and then something will happen and I will just be miserable and heart broken. You seem like you’re doing just fine without me. Seems like you never really loved me at all since you moved on so fucking fast. It hurts so much. I wish I could just fix everything go back to the weekend of the 4th of July. That was the best weekend of my life. Lets just go back to that please. Restart from there and redo things and then we will never break up then because I would do things differently I would tell you about the mom thing sooner and I would just completely not talk to alondra at all. Just not hurt you. I just want you again. You were my other half and made life more bearable. I want to tell you all this Wednesday show you how much I hurt without you. I just can’t handle this. Lexy I fucking love you with everything I fucking got. I wish you would realize what you had and realize i’m what you want and need.
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Even after a month of being apart you’re still the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing to cross my mind before bed. I would give anything to have you back. Whatever it took I would do.
I can’t deal with this right now. When I got into my car accident the first thing I thought of was you. I’m glad i’m okay and the first thing I wanted to do was text you and tell you what happened and to have you come to me. But I figured you wouldn’t anyways. You found out last night and I didn’t really want to tell you it all but you kept pushing for it so I finally told you. I just can’t handle this not having you by my side through it all. We promised each other to be there for each other for the rest of our lives. I just guess I was the one who loved you more than you loved me if you even did at all. I have doubts about it now. It seems like I was just a distraction to keep you away from your troubles. I feel like i’m not good enough for you. If we got back together I would always be scared I wouldn’t be good enough for you. I miss you so much. I miss everything about you. Your smile, Your laugh, the twinkle in your eyes when you used to look at me. The way you said I love you and the way your heart would race faster when I kissed you. I miss being able to lie in bed with you all day and just be with you cuddled up watching movies or our tickle fights we had. I miss it all. I just want it all back but it’s not going to happen any time soon. If it ever does happen. I just still feel like you’re my soulmate I never felt that way before. I still feel the connection we had the first day we met. I want nothing more than to just be with you and have you be my everything again and I be yours. That isn’t going to happen and now I just wish I could erase everything about you. Not be able to remember the past 7 months together that you have been in my life. Forget you all together. That way I don’t have to feel this hurt anymore. I just hurt to much. I can’t move on. It’s to hard because you’re always on my mind. I’m just so heart broken. I know you’re never going to read any of my posts because you don’t use tumblr. But I think if you ever read them you would see how much hurt and pain you put me through and how much I hurt now. I am trying my hardest to let you go but it’s hard when I still see my future with you. Since I was going to propose to you that night and I didn’t get the chance. I didn’t get the chance to do everything I had planned that night. If you would have just not taken it back and we went on our date I think we would be okay again. I just can’t handle this hurt though. I don’t even want to see you on wednesday but I have to. I hate this I don’t want to see you because everytime I do I feel my heart break over and over because I see your beautiful face and know you’re not mine. God I wish I could just forget about you and never think about you again.
|—||Front Porch Step (via queen-has-arrived)|
me in the morning. all the time.
that one person who whenever they come online you just
i smell friend